That's Our Norm.... and a little bit of humor

What is it like when single people live by themselves? If you must know, it’s basically a paradise of their own making. You set things up exactly as you want to without compromise. The people out there in relationships may never understand this freedom. I am proud to say I have been free for the last three years. Trust me: it can be much more difficult than having a relationship at times.

We folk are the outside looking in, analyzing your every move because our minds are free from the worries of human attachment. We are free to think, act, and feel exactly as we want to, unencumbered. We can even lie to ourselves without actual consequences.  We can even sit around and be lazy, while the rest of the world assumes that you are just incredibly busy… just as you have told them you are.

Really difficult questions can arise when you live by yourself… questions… realizations of magnitude that many could appreciate…

The stuff you buy for yourself is the only thing you have to look forward to.

Self-parties are the best thing in the world. I would say it’s quite similar to a phenomenon that most will never understand.

You just want to find someone who likes your stuff as much as you do. Yes, we do share sometimes….

When you actually have people over, you really show them a good time. Like a really good time…

What the hell do you do when your place is just as sexy as you are? Call the police and report a crime. Life sentence. 

Maybe all of it seems strange to you because it is opposite your norm. Well, that's our norm. 

Own up to yourself

There are things in this life that no one can take away from you. People will try, but they are still yours to keep… yours to fight for. These are attributes and life philosophies that are sometimes hard to hold on to but even harder to come by. Those in this life who own these things should wear them on their sleeves. Among these are traits that separate people from an abysmal and dismal race with nothing left to give…. where everything is for the taking.

What are these things I speak of? There are many more, but I’ll say one’s:

1.       Mind

2.       Achievement

3.       Resolve

4.       Experience

5.       Knowledge

6.       Spirit

7.       Values

The things about a person that make them unique. To add a layer, no one can take your:

8.       Altruism

9.       Forgiveness

10.   Unconditional love

11.   Sense of self

There is a set for strength and a set for care, both of which are empowering.  What these things have in common is that they are all things that are owned…. they are for the offering or sharing… they can be given to the world. Remember: What is once given can never be taken away.

What can be stolen from us?

1.      Power

2.      Control

3.      Material possession

These can all be taken away without warning. I believe we spend the most energy, time, and resources trying to achieve or accumulate these, and what is worthy of mention is they typically have a shorter life. To state the obvious, we are never guaranteed:

4.      Life

This can also be short-lived. While I realize this may all sound fairly trite, to me, it is eye-opening that so much of our existence is spent attaining what we can never be sure to keep. This takes away from life, which is precisely what we are trying to improve. To truly grow and feel empowered, one must give what is self-replenishing, rather than tear at the threads of his own manufacture. We must also take what accomplishments we do have and accept that progress is a perpetual concept; to gain ground does necessarily mean that you are done gaining ground.

For the high achievers, you should resign yourself to the fact that no amount of progress will make you wholly content – at some point, you have to settle for what you’ve achieved or accomplished, which no one can take away from you.  Realize that success can be much like greed and other addictions, where you chase it so far that you’ve lost pieces of yourself along the way.  Remember: be true to your roots, and own up to yourself.

Assembly Line Minds

The world is filled with information gluttons, and so I believe that information is becoming more epidemic than academic.  It’s all at our fingertips, and we cannot help ourselves.  We copy, we paste, and the mind slips into an atrophied and apathetic state. The solution to every conceivable question or problem is nearly a mouse click away.

If you cannot find it, don’t worry…. there is good news. A group of basement analysts are working feverishly, and they will post the solution for you once complete. This very sharing of information has allowed us to make leaps and bounds where we would have otherwise been stumbling around blindly and without direction. Still, that does not mean we are exempt from the side effects…

In a thirst for immediate information, many have failed in proffering its application, sacrificing what is one of the most powerful tools we have…. the ability to make deductions based on our own observations. One piece of information now simply leads to another, starting a chain reaction, under which we no longer think for ourselves and become assembly line minds. So true, we are masters at piecing together arguments that are not our own. Working in a labor force built around the idea of specialization, one would think we would all be more aware of this inherent shortfall.

Specialization, as defined here, is a focus on, or a comparative advantage in, some particular trade, science, or art form. Any of these may require that one conduct research. And from there, the push of competitive industry drives us to retrace what members of society have already learned and created. We then fall under the spell of a defeatist mentality, causing us to under-innovate, over-analyze, and broadly generalize.

Google, a simple search engine, took a few short years to change the way we processed, well, nearly all things information. Google then became a verb in every household. If you wanted to know something, you would just Google it. This effect, the Google Complex, is characterized by a prolonged separation between information processing and the natural human ability to make logical deductions… to inspire creative solutions. I believe this disrupts a sociological evolve and is a pseudo-disorder, manifesting an entirely new argument on the distinctions between common sense, common knowledge, and intelligence.

Not only that, the efficiency of the information economy creates a disparate sense of entitlement; our new culture has grown sadly accustomed to questions already having been answered. This introduces a society spread, jack-of-all-trades phenomenon where everyone knows everything… and nothing. 

Kaleidoscope Eyes

We as individuals must pride ourselves on having a unique perspective, one which proves we are not drones, that we have identities, and that we breathe because we want to… instead of because we have to. We first answer to ourselves, and we speak for our convictions; we do not speak on convictions. We take in dissent and allow it to round the discussion. We do not splinter off and sequester our arguments but attach to common roots, we become entangled, only to break free and break new ground again.

When a new outlook is born, what do we see? We can choose to believe all views are centered and in tidy compartments, where one is clearly right and the other clearly wrong. Or, we can choose to tolerate ambiguity and accept that views can be fragmented because we are a polarized people. This means that we present facts as facts from which we all draw conclusions and then develop opinions. We must accept that our opinions, however founded upon fact, are sometimes swayed by emotion, past experience, and a simple disconnect between the subject matter and the reality to which it applies. That is, we are polarized not because theory, fact, and law contradict one another but.... because the course of history has written codes by which large factions of people abide.

These codes, these disciplines, are lifestyles centered on morality or a total lack thereof. Because of this, ethics sit in the middle ground; these are used as justifiable means. Ethical people measure their means in a very formulaic way, by calculating the aggregate benefit to society and themselves… playing the almighty. If it did not directly affect their standing, the ethical, immoral person would not question the effects of a course of action; this is done out of self-servitude.  When ethics are taught, it is so because they are somehow not inherent. So, ethics is learned behavior. Internalizing ethical conduct creates a pretense; people can pretend to have moral interests when these do not come from moral codes at all. Ethical interests serve as appropriate behavior, like manners being taught to a kid, where moral interests serve a more unconditional belief that the act is right and good.

As society and self come together and apart, we regress and we grow. After careful consideration, we filter out the things with which we do not agree, and we blend in those that we admire. People offer amazing ideas, opinions, and valuable information but also introduce undue skepticism, bias, and completely wayward advice. As we walk the halls filled with our lives’ passers-by, look through a different scope. View the world with kaleidoscope eyes. 

The World We Get Lost In

Beneath the wealth is a fallen society,

where money has out-priced family…

…been force-fed religion and group therapy…

“no, counselor, you don't understand me...”

I really think the gleam of wealth is blinding,

not really what it seems…

higher livin’ aint peaches and cream,

not coupled with high self-esteem.

Members of the human race:

I stand and challenge to unite,

not divide and fight, but combine to guard our rights...

We give up more than we take away,

and to this day, not much good has came...

but I digress... all consumption a function of stress,

each person doing more with less, working to be the best...

…shit, an uphill climb, here I come again…  where should I begin?

It's a race to the finish that I've started all too much,

running from the problems on a broken crutch,

chasing the gain - fighting mental strain...

sure, I could abstain, but with all the disdain,

disruption, and just plain destruction

can I not aid the pain??? 

I came to you to explain that this is no game…

…the effects are known, but the momentum carries on.

Not sure where I’m goin’ but I know I’m not there.

You know where I’m coming from?

The lot of you can make the same claim…

I don’t doubt you’ve had your share of change,

but only so much can I bear…

One minute you’ve got someone and not the next year….

Can we settle into a groove? It’s not something I have to prove…

That it feels more natural to fall into a behavioral pattern…

Let me say, there’s one thing I’ve got…. a perpetual groove... no more turns... 

Solitary Confinement

A deep, dark moment in the corner of a room.

A shadowy presence sparks a dismal gloom.

You can control your own mood… don’t let it loom.

We need to massage, and we need to groom,

If we want someone else in the room.

Tragic affairs bring oneself to mourn…

…have lived a life ensconced with scorn….

This born from want to piece together what’s torn.

A lot is forlorn, but more is forgone.

Always wanting what we lost all along.

To build a lonesome resolve, we can risk the rest….

…asking not for another’s respect….

…stealing hope from the lives we dissect.

A tempered manic or a simple disgrace.

Humanity knocks, do you answer with grace…

...or step out of the race...?

The bags are packed for a trip to nowhere.

The mind creates stories. A real one is rare.

The sickness creeps on, locked up in despair.

A moment had passed that felt like a year.

I wind back the clock and run the gamut on fear.